Friend to your face, fake behind your back
She Talks Sh** about You (Behind Your Back)
At some point, we need to take the high road and realize that we can't control what others say about us (as much as we'd like to believe otherwise!). If your frenemy keeps talking trash and it's getting out of control, confront her and ask her what her freaking deal is. But doing nothing could actually send a bigger message. If you ignore it, she'll likely stop when she sees she can't get a rise out of you.
She Tries to Invite Herself to Your Wedding
You could actually use her constantly hinting about your nuptials to discuss your toxic friendship and provide some closure. This is a good chance to be honest with her and let her know where she stands with you and the reasons why she won't be invited
, if that's the case. You'd want that same courtesy.
She Invites You to a Party
If you go, you're sending the message to your frenemy that everything is good between you, which may not be the truth. If you don't go, you're sending the message that things are not so good between you—unless you come up with a very good excuse. Bottom line: If you don't want to go, don't feel any obligation.
She Badmouths Your Mutual Friend
We've all been there—we hear someone slam a friend of ours and, because we love our BFFs, we want to protect them. If you can't hold back, tell your frenemy that what she's saying is not appropriate. Other than that, it's up to your mutual friend to handle it.
She Kills You With Kindness
Two can play that game, right? Though, in all seriousness, just be yourself—don't be rude but don't be overly nice either. The goal is to show her that what she's doing is not bothering you. Trust me, she'll get it.
She One-Ups Your Story
Just after you finish telling a story about how you rocked a presentation at work, your frenemy announces her big promotion. (What a B.) But, as much as you want to give her the dagger eyes for stealing your spotlight, don't let on that she's affecting your feelings. Congratulate her and move on. You can curse her out in the privacy of your own car on the ride home later.
She Starts Dating Your Ex
Ouch! Not easy. Hopefully you're on good enough terms with your ex to call him and ask him what the deal is—after all, he should know how their potential relationship would affect you. But if he's totally clueless, then that says a lot about why he's your ex, right?! (Like, if he'd be willing to date her...um, ew.)
She Asks You for a Favor
So… your frenemy asks you to watch her annoying, yappy dog
while she's out of town. No thank you. There's a certain beauty in learning to say no—and this a great time to try it! She's your frenemy, so she probably won't be doing you any favors anyway. Would you want her to dog sit for you? Yeah, probably not…
Read more: Frenemies - How to Deal with a Frenemy - Cosmopolitan
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